1 Peter 3: 1-12 – Confident in Relationship
- Apostle Peter – one of Jesus’ closest followers – widely accepted as author. The Greek is sophisticated for a fisherman (and in contrast to 2 Peter) but the letter was written ‘with the help of Silas’ (5:12)
- Written in the early 60s AD – before he was martyred in 64AD, during persecution by Nero, but after some of Paul’s letters (because he refers to them)
- Writing from ‘Babylon’ – possibly a symbolic term for Rome
- Addressed to believers throughout Asia Minor (Turkey) including many places where Paul had preached (Acts)
Chapters 2 and 3 – How to live as followers of Jesus in four key spheres (social interaction)
1 Rulers, government and the authorities
2Employers – your workplace
3 Marriage – your home
4 The Church – the family of believers
Peter had experience in all four spheres – wasn’t talking theory but he walked the walk as he talked the talk. He was a man of action
Central theme
• Submission
• Considerate
• Respect
• Harmony
• Sympathetic
• Love
• Compassion
• Humility
Not the teaching you would expect from Peter
Matt 16 – Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. ‘Never, Lord!’ he said. ‘This shall never happen to you!’
Jesus turned and said to Peter, ‘Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.’
John 18 – Then Simon Peter, who had a sword, drew it and struck the high priest’s servant, cutting off his right ear. (The servant’s name was Malchus.)
Jesus commanded Peter, ‘Put your sword away! Shall I not drink the cup the Father has given me?’
But it is how he lived his life 30 years on
Crucified upside down
It isn’t a justification for being imprisoned in an abusive relationship
Men had the power and status in Roman times.
Peter (like Paul) is evening that up by teaching that men and women have distinct roles but are equal and should submit to each other.
Ephesians 5:22-28 – Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. ….. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
This way of living is attractive and attractional
It may attract opposition and persecution:
Verse 3:13 – ‘Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good. But even if you suffer for what is right, you are blessed’.
Verse 2:20 – ‘If you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God’ because you are called to follow the example of Jesus who suffer unjustly for doing good
But more likely, it is going to attract people
Jesus washed the disciples’ feet.
Then – ‘A new command I give you: love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35 By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.’
Simon Peter asked him, ‘Lord, where are you going?’
‘wives submit to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over by the behaviour of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives’
Tertullian – Government sent spies into churches in the second century
‘These Christians are very strange people. They meet in an empty room to worship. They have no image. They speak of one by the name of Jesus who is absent but whom they seem to be expecting at any moment.’
Concluded by saying …..
‘And my, how they love him and how they love one another’
So Peter is making the case for harmony through submission to each other
- In marriages – which are to be a reflection of the relationship between Jesus and the church
- In the church – which is Jesus’s way of reaching the world
Because Peter understands that God attaches great importance to relationships
And especially to the. relationship between wife and husband Genesis 1 – ‘‘And God saw that it was good’
Light and darkness, sky and sea, dry ground, stars, sun and moon, plants, sea creatures and birds, wild animals, humans
Genesis 1:31 ‘God saw all that he had made, and it was very good’
Genesis 2:18 – ‘It is not good for the man to be alone’
God attaches great importance to relationships
The other bookend to the Bible
Revelation 22:1-3 ‘Then I saw “a new heaven and a new earth,” for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. 2 I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. 3 And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them.They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God.’
Jesus came to replace the rules with a relationship:- the God of their fathers had become their Father God
Which is why marriages and church unity are key ‘battlegrounds’ for us
John 10:10 – The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
It is a strong plea to invest in our personal relationships
and in church unity
• Within churches
• And among churches
Romans 12: 10 – Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Outdo yourselves in honouring one another.
Phil 2:3-4 – Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.
Psalm 133: 1 – Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity!
Applications
- Protect our relationships – in our homes and in the church
- Prioritise our relationships – above all else
- Personalise our relationships (with each other and with God):Abraham was the ‘friend of God’. Moses met with God as a man speaks with a friend.
Group Notes
First Thoughts
You may be familiar with the TV series, Dragons’ Den, in which budding entrepreneurs get three minutes to pitch their business idea to five multi-millionaires potentially willing to invest their own cash. Tone and posture matter. Demanding investment is a sure way to the exit. What’s needed is confident, yet humble persuasion.
Yee Kwan had developed a range of quality ice creams, including flavours such as black sesame seed, and lychee. Not only were the customary power dynamics in play, but she was selling products quite different from the norm. Early on in her presentation, Yee gave each Dragon three flavours to sample. Apart from one Dragon, they all loved them. However, the ice cream market is difficult to conquer, and three Dragons declined to invest. But Yee’s glorious flavours and winsome approach persuaded two to make an offer.
Being a Christian in the Roman Empire during the first century required humility and a willingness to embrace weakness. Like selling weird ice cream flavours, it was a major break from the norm. Peter was by no means expecting every person these Christians had contact with to choose to invest their lives in Jesus, but he knew if they could taste and see, some would.
Read – 1 Peter 3:1–12
Focus on the Theme
1. Can you think of a time when somebody influenced you for the better? Perhaps they encouraged you in a good habit or a positive action. What was it about that person that made you listen to them?
What Does the Bible Say?
2. Given the place of wives in the household in New Testament times, how might those wives who decided to follow Jesus have felt if they had a husband who still worshipped pagan gods? What might they have been tempted to do?
3. Peter starts with the words, ‘Wives, in the same way’, referring to the example of Christ in 2:21–25. (You can read commentary on 2:21–25 on page 44, and the feature about Christian wives on page 50.) What attitudes and actions did Peter encourage these women to embrace?
4. He repeats the phrase, ‘in the same way’, in 3:7 when he gives advice to Christian husbands. What attitudes and actions did Peter encourage these men to embrace?
5. How do the virtues that Peter encourages in 3:8–12 foster good relationships?
Going Deeper
6. Drawing on this passage and others that might come to mind, why do you think God chooses to work through people in situations where they lack social power?
What does this say about God?
7. How does having confidence in the gospel (session 1) and in Christian identity (session 2) build confidence when a person is in a position of relational weakness?
Christian wives and household gods
First-century Greek and Roman culture was largely dominated by men. Women tended to be viewed as cognitively inferior and less trustworthy than men. Therefore, they had less access to education, social and political power, and justice. Families, which were seen as integral to a healthy society, generally had clear divisions of power, with the father figure (known as the paterfamilias) being ultimately responsible for, and in charge of, everyone within the household.
The following quote from the Greek thinker and writer, Plutarch (ad 46–120), provides an interesting backdrop to Peter’s instructions: ‘A woman ought not to make friends of her own, but to enjoy her husband’s friends in common with him. The gods are the first and foremost important friends. Hence, it is becoming for a wife to worship and to know only the gods that her husband believes in, and to shut the door tight upon all strange rituals and outlandish superstitions.’
The situation on the ground likely varied from place to place and family to family, as it does in our own time. While Christian wives of non-Christian husbands may have been limited in their options, Peter’s advice is practical, encouraging them to live in a way which is shaped by the pattern of Christ and motivated by missional concerns. Reflecting his instructions to all Christians to ‘live such good lives among the pagans’ (2:12), wives are an integral part of the witness of the church as a whole. Now as then, those in marriages where the other partner is not a believer need the love and support of the church community and wisdom about how best to live as a Christian in their home context.
Living it Out
8. Why do you think some people who aren’t Christians struggle when those close to them become Christians?
Have you experienced this in your family, friendships, or at work?
9. Is there a particular relationship on your frontline that is difficult?
How does this passage help you think or pray about it?
10. In what ways does Peter’s invitation to live like Christ in your relationships challenge or encourage you?
Prayer Time
Thank God that he is able to work through you to point others to himself, whatever your relationship with those people might be.
Share one ‘virtue’ that you’d like to grow in that will strengthen your relationships.
Pray for someone close to you who doesn’t know Christ. Ask God to give you wisdom and courage to live like him. Pray that they will be ‘won over’.
Theme and Questions from LICC booklet
– 1 Peter ‘Confidence in a Complex World’ by Joe Warton